Thursday, April 5, 2012

Somebody feels like a monster...

I have been debating for a whole month about this song, so much so that I have now missed the month of March and it is now April. When I first got the impression to do this song, I was really surprised. I thought, "No way! I am sure some of my readers will not like this song." It's very different from the other songs I have done this year. The other songs I have written about have been applicable to me at this time in my life. This song would have applied to me when I was younger, but I have moved on and grown past this song. I have tried picking other songs only to sit down at my computer and go completely blank...absolutely nothing...nada. Then this song would find its way back to me. So I am going to go for it and do this song. Someone somewhere must need to hear what I have to say about this song.

"So what is the song?" you ask. The song is Monster by Skillet. I am a big fan of Skillet. They have some amazing rock ballads and crazy sick instrumentals. When I was younger, I felt like every song they sang was written about me. Now that I am older, I listen to them with the nostalgia of someone whose youth is gone but is not yet old. This particular song came to me in this latter part of my life. At one time in my life, I would have cried with teenage angst and beat my chest saying, "Somebody finally understands!" Ok, maybe I wouldn't have been that dramatic but I would have definitely related to this song.

Now I don't want you to think that I hesitated about this song because it is a rock song. I love rock. Many has been the time when I have cranked up Skillet's Comatose album and rocked out till my ears were ringing. My hesitation about this song is that it no longer applies to me.When I started this year with the resolution to write about music, I assumed all the songs would be relevant to MY life and where I am now. How selfish of me. I have a gift for writing and what good is a gift if it is used only for myself? So I write this blog to you, the person who feels like a monster, who feels there is no escape, who feels like a stranger in your own skin. I have a message for you. You are NOT a monster; you are human.

Anyone who has ever been a teenager, and I think we can safely assume that applies to everyone over the age of 19, has had to deal with the torment, the agony and the delight of emotions. Human bodies go through this radical change and it can be difficult. It seems like overnight your body is no longer the same. You go from being unbelievably happy to miserably depressed at the drop of a hat and for no reason. This can be a confusing time.

This song, I believe, portrays what one of these emotions can feel like to a teenager. Anger. This song is a very angry song. Jon Cooper portrays this emotion as a beast that rages within the body wanting out, but he knows he can't let it out because it will destroy him. And he is probably right. Anger can cause all kinds of damage if not dealt with properly.

But anger is a natural part of being human. Everyone gets angry. How you deal with it can affect how it makes you feel. I used to kick things, slam doors and scream at the top of my lungs. All I got was sore toes, broken doors and a raw throat. When I learned to express that anger through other means, I no longer felt like it had control of me. I learned to write my anger out or pray it out or I would put on a Skillet album and rock it out. There are certain times in life when it feels all-consuming. I know there were times in my life when I felt like a monster was inside of me. I write this as someone who has been broken, been defeated, felt worthless. It gets better. Take it from someone who never thought it could.

So to whoever this blog is meant for, and I hope you find it, know that there is no monster inside of you. Know that it will get better. Know you are not the only human being on earth to feel like this. Know that God sees your hurt and your torment and His heart breaks for you. Know that God is bigger than anything you will ever go through. Know that you can make it to the other side in one piece and be made whole. I did. Thanks for reading.