~Don't leave me here like this. Can't hear me scream from the abyss.~Falling Inside the Black by Skillet
My ears are ringing from the beating I gave them from cranking Skillet in my car. My eyes are heavy and wet with unshed tears. My stomach is bloated from the sugar and fat I have been shoving in my face to suppress the pain. The abuse is the physical evidence of the attempts to fill the gaping hole in my soul.
Today is January 1. I am fighting the despair that seems to possess me. It is a new year. Will this one be better than last year? Who knows? Is my depression temporary? More than likely. I think it is a mixture of holiday blues, loneliness, rebellion and the desire to not return to work.
I will probably feel better tomorrow. Thanks for reading.