Groping around in the dark

I know this post is way over due. The last two weeks have been hectic and trying.

I went through a Tres Dias weekend a couple of weekends ago. If you don't know what that is, checkout this website: www.gulfcoasttresdias.com. It is like Walk to Emmaus, if anyone knows what that is. It was amazing. It revitalized my faith and connected me to some great Christians.

During Tres Dias, I came to the realization that God wants me in Citronelle. I firmly believe there is a ministry here for me. I have been praying about moving ever since Kevin told me I was going to have to leave. The answer I keep getting is "Wait." I am not sure what I am waiting for, but that is what I am doing. I decided the other day God is going to have to do something amazing by December 1st or I am going home.

I am now in my third week at the Sears Portrait Studio. It is more sales oriented than I thought and I am a terrible sales person. Although, I did sell a platinum collection today which is the most expensive one we offer. I don't really like it there, but I believe it is simply a means to an end. Again, I don't know what end. I really feel like I am walking around in the dark.

I am still terribly lonely and homesick. I haven't be able to make any new friends since I got here. I don't get to see the few friends I do have because of work and other reasons. Nobody invites me over anymore. I think it is because they are busy, but my doubts about myself sometimes tell me it is because they don't like me anymore.

I met some really nice people at Tres Dias. On November 17, they are having a gathering of all the people who have ever gone through it. I am really looking forward to it. I think something will happen at this gathering. I am hoping for an answer to some prayers. I am doing everything in my power to go to it. Thankfully, it is being held at the camp.

I did have visitors on Saturday night. Once again, Alex fulfilled his role as my social planner. Alex, Kaiti and Mea came over. We had dinner and then played rummy. Alex beat us everytime, but he was the only one who had played so he had an advantage. I think if I could play some more, I could give him a run for his money.

With November just around the corner, Thanksgiving has been weighing heavily on my mind. I do not know what I am going to do. I will not be able to take off enough time to drive home and I cannot afford to fly home. I will probably spend the day all by myself in my sheetrock box. How depressing. This will be a very trying time for me. The urge to start packing gets stonger everyday and the only way I will make though the holiday season is with God. I am going through some major spiritual warfare and it becomes harder everyday. I know God is still here with me. He is taking care of me and this trial is a test. I just hope I have the strength to make it to the end.

I just ask everyone to please keep praying for me. I really want to make this work, but it is getting harder everyday. I have to pray constantly to keep myself going. I don't think God would bring me out here for no reason; I just wish he would share that reason with me. Thanks for reading.